Just like a fire with smoldering embers can flare up when they are stirred or fanned, emotions can flare up in our marriages if issues are left unresolved to smolder and fester.

Express Anger Respectfully

Many people are uncomfortable with expressing anger for fear that it will damage relationships. However, if feelings are buried, they don't go away, they just smolder and easily flame up.

It's critical to learn how to disagree respectfully and without attacking your spouse. If a safe environment is created for discussing feelings, it's much easier for the reticent spouse to have the courage to share from their heart and resolve any conflict.

Get Help For Serious Problems

Counseling keeps problems from escalating. If conflicts are not resolved early on, a couple may stew over these problems for years and this creates negative behavior patterns that become difficult to reverse.

Obtaining professional help sooner rather than later will reduce verbal sparring, poor or no communication and acting out.

Expect To Get Along

If you expect to get along with your spouse, you will get along with your spouse. Talking respectfully and looking for creative solutions to the problems you face as a couple and as parents will go a long way in creating a strong and enduring marriage.

If you expect to have a confrontation, you will have a confrontation. If you expect to resolve a conflict with respect and love, you will resolve a conflict with respect and love. Expect the best from your spouse, and you'll get it.

As we express our anger respectfully, get professional help for serious marriage problems, and expect to get along, we will find our marriage growing instead of headed for the ash pile.