Working in a medium size mortuary in a medium sized city in the Deep South has not been without its moments. The outside world may think of the funeral business as always somber and maybe even a little bizarre but characters like Leroy Pepper provided some occasional comic relief. Poor Leroy did not last long in the death business but he will be remembered around here. Leroy's father, Herbert "Red" Pepper, was our flower truck driver and general handy man for around 22 years when he asked our owner to employ his son as an apprentice. Red wanted in the worse way for his son to have some kind of career so Red thought the funeral business would be right for Leroy. Leroy may have has some knowledge as to what his dad did for us but that was about it. I had met Leroy on occasion and felt that maybe he had a minus IQ. All kidding aside I did not think Leroy should be on the inside in the funeral business but the hiring decision was not mine to make. Mr. Coons, the owner, hired Leroy out of loyalty to Red. Mr. Coons was a no nonsense man but he thought Leroy should have a chance. Leroy getting a chance to enter this business was fine with me except that I get stuck with this guy. Leroy had three months before he was to enter the mortuary science program at a local junior college so Mr. Coons made him my apprentice understudy. I soon found out that Leroy had never been on the inside of the funeral business. I decided my main job was to see that Leroy did more watching than doing. I had been in this business for 5 years at the time and I did not want something Leroy did to ruin my stellar reputation. I had handled over 200 cases at the time Leroy came on board and was in line for a management position at one of the branch funeral homes. I could manage a case from the first call to the final disposition with our resources at hand. Now for the next three months I had to think of something for Leroy to do. Mr. Coons is not paying this guy to stand around; I have to make sure Mr. Coons gets his money's worth from someone who really does not know this business. We decided to start Leroy on Monday at opening hours. With no services scheduled on this Monday I could work with Leroy and see what I could teach him. Leroy was informed to enter the chapel from the rear employee entrance. Leroy does arrive on time but he parks his car in front of the chapel and walks in the main entrance. To make matters worse Leroy is wearing a madras sports jacket and is missing a front tooth. Seems that Leroy's false tooth retainer was misplaced. ...... Chapter 2 coming soon on ... |
