Ingredients:

Two hard-boiled organic or local eggs (optional if you're vegan or too impatient)
Organic bacon bits alternative
2 organic hearts of romaine
Organic shredded cheese or cheese alternative (your choice; either yellow or orange cheeses are great)
2 vegetarian breaded chicken patties
2 organic tomatoes
1 organic red pepper
Organic croutons

Bring a small saucepan of water to a boil. Meanwhile, thoroughly rinse romaine hearts, then pat them dry with a towel.

Tear off any brown areas to compost them, then bunch the romaine with your hand and cut it into horizontal slices, working from the tip to the butt. Repeat for second heart of romaine. Compost the butts.

Dice tomatoes and red peppers. Compost the tomato core and red pepper cap and innards. While you're chopping, reflect upon a quote from Thich Nhat Hanh: 'We have to eat happy eggs from happy chickens.'

When the water boils, gently drop in eggs. Boil for three minutes or until they're hard-boiled. Meanwhile, spread the sliced romaine hearts evenly between two plates. (This serves two, in case you haven't already guessed.)

Cook the vegetarian chicken patties according to package directions, either in the microwave if you're super hungry and need to eat soon, or in the oven if you want them to be more crunchy. (Of course, if you cook them in the oven, make that the first step before boiling the eggs.) Cut the patties into slices when they're done, then arrange the slices on each plate of romaine.

Rinse the eggs under cold water until they're cool enough to handle. Chop the eggs, or use an egg slicer and pretend it's your least favorite politician's head.

Sprinkle organic bacon bits alternative, cheese or cheese alternative, red peppers, tomatoes and croutons evenly onto each salad. Actually, don't do it evenly--sneak just a few more goodies onto your salad.

You can use pre-packaged organic croutons, or you may be able to find crunchy organic or local baguette chips that you can crumble onto the salad. And if you're in a pinch, you can simply crumble some organic crackers or tortilla chips that you may already have on hand.

The organic produce you use in this hearty salad is as limitless as your imagination. You can also try diced cucumber, shredded carrots, sugar snap peas--the list goes on and on.

This organic salad is really great with organic thousand island dressing. Or try mixing organic ranch and organic French dressing! Chow down!